Pondering...

It's been one of those days... I got home from school last night and proceeded to fall asleep almost immediately.. that was at 4 pm. Well other than maybe 2 or 3 times that I got up for phone calls, I slept right through until 10:30 this morning.. I figured it out, I slept for almost 18 hours. I think I was in definite need of it, after not sleeping most of the weekend and then this week being mega midterm week. Well I was late for work this morning, considering it takes about an hour to get to work, but that's ok, I'm going in for training tomorrow instead. Yesterday I had a great day.. and I've been thinking about how everything that has been happening to me lately has been making me go up in the scale of happiness. But it's not just my life.. I am coming to terms with the fact that I don't have to be constantly happy to live a good life.

In my philosophy class we are learning that happiness isn't really about being pleasantly amused in everyday life, it's something deeper. Happiness is associated with virtue and beauty and truth. If your inner self cannot be fulfilled, how can you expect your outer projections to be fulfilled. I started out hating that class because I couldn't get my head around the fact that even though we were learning something everyday we didn't get any futher in our analysis or in our thinking. I think that is the point of philosophy.. it's frustrating to leave a class thinking you know less than you knew when you walked in. But that is it's purpose. Socrates was the wisest man of his time.. only because he was able to acknowledge the fact that he knew nothing at all.

I went away this weekend to a conference and I met so many amazing people and got to have many amazing conversations. In talking with one of my new friends, we discussed the things that we valued most in our lives. After that conversation I realized that some of the things I value the most I have been ignoring for a long time. For one thing; writing.. I used to write stories and poetry, I miss that. It was a form of expression. I am not the most visually artistic person but writing allowed me to bring out the creative side of my mind. Which as most people know I mostly think with the intellectual and logic side of my brain.. and creativity needs to be excercized as well. I don't know how to get back to writing though.. I never have time, and I can't even commit to writing in a journal.

I can't believe it but I'm still exhausted.. the past 2 days I feel as if I've been hallucinating.. I've been going thorugh my typical motions.. but I can't remember half of them. Things that happened.. were they yesterday, a week ago, an hour ago? AHh.. lol, I need sleep. Well I'd better go do some homework. I have a mega lab due tomorrow. Ciao

Alberta

So.. I'm sitting in the Internet Cafe at the Capri Hotel in Red Deer, Alberta on my lunch break from the mega conference. So far..I'm learning lots, speaking more french than english and having a lot of fun... maybe too much. I can't believe how much snow there is here. It looks like Christmas and it's only mid October. Anyways, I'll be home on Sunday.. hermit until wednesday and then Thursday night I plan on celebrating the end of midterms with a Jazz concert featuring one of my favourite musicians.. who isn't a jazz musician. I just found out about it, so I need people to join me. It's Thursday night, on Queen West and it's only 12 dollars for students.. any takers?? Well i'm off to go "network". Ciao!!!

Taking A Study Break

I've been studying like crazy lately.. which is good, I have many a midterm in the next couple of weeks. I'm at the Scarborough library right now, I had to work last night at Bluff's so I just stayed over night instead of commuting back on some sketchy Scarborough night bus. Back to the point of this blog. I was sitting and studying when I needed to take a bathroom break.. during this bathroom break I had an epiphany (haha.. just love the word). I've been noticing something I have almost always done unconsciously and often wondered why I do it.. today I figured it out.

While what I have to say is completely pointless and many will think I'm silly for even mentioning it, I feel I need to get it out. I have a habit of mimicking the way people talk around me. I really don't do it on purpose and hardly ever notice that I'm doing it. But if someone has an accent, a funny lilt, or different mannerism in their speech.. somehow my voice just wants to imitate it. This has become an increasing problem because I have a lot of international friends at school and I don't want them to think I'm making fun of them.. or something.

I think I have found the source of this problem. For many years I took singing lessons from a dear old singing teacher at home. One of the most important part of our lessons was when she would play something, sing something, or describe something and I would have to mimic it. After that, I would pay a lot of attention to perfectly mimic the techniques that she was teaching me. Unfortunately, my teacher also had a strong English accent. Sometimes I would catch myself in lessons starting to copy her accent as well as the technique. Now, I can't stop myself from paying so much attention to lilt's, pronunciations, enunciations, etc. It's unconcious.. I don't often realize it, but when I do.. I try and stop myself. So let this be a warning to anyone out there who may be reading this (all 3 of you), if for some reason I start to sound like you.. it's not intentional, It just shows that I have a good ear.. and a great mimicking ability. Also, please catch me in it.. otherwise I might just get myself in some sort of trouble one day.

Anyways, that was a nice little study break but I must get back to the books!!