Life is a trip
Just a preblog warning.. this is gonna be a big one.. lots to talk about. It's the end of the school year, and like many other students I'm finding many outlets of procrastination but for the first time this year, I spend more time studying than I do procrastinating, and that is a beautiful thing. Back to my point, the end of the year, 6 days left, thinking more than ever. I've been reflecting over the past year and realizing that most of it has been a daze. I've been so confused, so happy, so angry, so sad.. all at the same time. It's like being on really bad drugs, the highs and lows are massive, but the lows happen more frequently towards the end of the trip. Call it what you want.. I don't want to label what my emotions mean, because then I have to face them. While washing dishes tonight I had a lot of time to think.. and break a few dishes because I was distracted. I was thinking about reason.. and analyzing the very way we live.
Humanity has always been labelled complex, look at the enormous webs that make up our brains. The very nature of our anatomy is complicated. People say everything happens for a reason.. that fate determines how our lives pan out. Makes you think, is there someone or something out there who's sole purpose in life is to decide how ours will turn out. If so.. what is reason? It's subjective.. even in the dictionary you can find 6 or 7 different definitions for it. How can we except that there is a reason for everything when life can be so unjust. How can you justify that the raping and beating of a young girl happens for a "reason".. is the reason to make her stronger? How can you justify the reasoning behind genocide.. mass tortures, murder.. the holocaust? What was the reasoning for those..? To make everyone else grateful for their lives? Why does pain exist at such extreme levels.. I can't get my head around it. I understand that life shouldn't be perfect, but why can't we stop before committing such heinous acts of violence? One thing I've decided is that humankind is messed up.. Maybe we should revert to being nomads, living as individuals, simply and seemingly peaceful. If there's one thing history can teach us is that maybe humans have this incredible knack for creating technology and very useless tools, but we're worse off than most animals.. we're the beasts, look at what we do to our own kind, we hate.
This brings me to thinking about basic emotions.. we play with one another, we'd rather be confused than just come right out and tell people what we think. Have you ever felt like someone you were close to was incredibly mad at you but you just can't figure out what the reason is? I was talking to a friend tonight who's roomate won't talk to her.. and she doesn't know why. Wouldn't it be easier if we just communicated what we felt? My house has been so quiet lately, all of our doors shut to the world because we're so engrossed in higher learning. Every time one of us does exit our sanctuaries there's an underlying tension because none of really know how to be social anymore.. we're too used to being friends with our books. I know I'm feeling it.. There's more to say, but for now it's time for a lil Jon Stewart to make the air a little bit lighter, and maybe make me ready for some presleep reading.
Humanity has always been labelled complex, look at the enormous webs that make up our brains. The very nature of our anatomy is complicated. People say everything happens for a reason.. that fate determines how our lives pan out. Makes you think, is there someone or something out there who's sole purpose in life is to decide how ours will turn out. If so.. what is reason? It's subjective.. even in the dictionary you can find 6 or 7 different definitions for it. How can we except that there is a reason for everything when life can be so unjust. How can you justify that the raping and beating of a young girl happens for a "reason".. is the reason to make her stronger? How can you justify the reasoning behind genocide.. mass tortures, murder.. the holocaust? What was the reasoning for those..? To make everyone else grateful for their lives? Why does pain exist at such extreme levels.. I can't get my head around it. I understand that life shouldn't be perfect, but why can't we stop before committing such heinous acts of violence? One thing I've decided is that humankind is messed up.. Maybe we should revert to being nomads, living as individuals, simply and seemingly peaceful. If there's one thing history can teach us is that maybe humans have this incredible knack for creating technology and very useless tools, but we're worse off than most animals.. we're the beasts, look at what we do to our own kind, we hate.
This brings me to thinking about basic emotions.. we play with one another, we'd rather be confused than just come right out and tell people what we think. Have you ever felt like someone you were close to was incredibly mad at you but you just can't figure out what the reason is? I was talking to a friend tonight who's roomate won't talk to her.. and she doesn't know why. Wouldn't it be easier if we just communicated what we felt? My house has been so quiet lately, all of our doors shut to the world because we're so engrossed in higher learning. Every time one of us does exit our sanctuaries there's an underlying tension because none of really know how to be social anymore.. we're too used to being friends with our books. I know I'm feeling it.. There's more to say, but for now it's time for a lil Jon Stewart to make the air a little bit lighter, and maybe make me ready for some presleep reading.
posted by Melanie G at
12:02 a.m.
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